Unconditional Giving and why it isn’t quite Right…


I haven’t posted in a while and thought rather than wait till I had time I would share this article that was emailed to me by Chris Cade. He has some wonderful stuff. His website is http://www.chriscade.com

What I’m going to share with you is deeply personal, vulnerable, and quite honestly I didn’t plan to write this today. I thought I was going to share with you a special affirmation I use every single day, yet as I began writing this message it became clear to me that it was time to share an unspoken part of my heart with you.

This is part of the story of my “unlovable heart…”

It all begins with my last email (“Global Crisis… caused by lack of love?“) where I shared a lot of quotes about love. This specific one from Mother Teresa was calling my attention and I wasn’t entirely sure why:

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.”

At first, it was unclear why the Universe was drawing my attention to that quote. As I became more present with that question “Why?” I was reminded of who I was before I embarked on my spiritual journey. People who knew me back then thought I was a kind and generous person. While that was true, most of them confused generosity with love.

I gave a lot and I asked very little in return.

I gave money to charity…

I gave gifts to friends and family…

I even gave rides to hitchhikers…

I gave lots of “stuff.”

The thing is, I didn’t give MYSELF. I didn’t gave the “stuff” that I was made of.

It wasn’t my fault; I just didn’t know how. It’s not like there’s a class in school on “Unconditional Love”.

For me, I’ve realized that I used “unconditional giving” as a way to protect myself from having to actually be vulnerable in a world that can be uncontrollable, scary, and downright uncertain. “Unconditional giving” was a way I didn’t actually have to get personal with somebody… it was an excuse that actually allowed me to safely separate from others.


While I wasn’t aware of this at the time, deep deep down in my subconscious a part of me believed that if I gave enough of myself then other people wouldn’t reject me.

To put it in more candid direct terms:

A subconscious part of me felt unloved. It believed that if I gave enough stuff to other people I would never have to feel how unloved I felt inside.

I wasn’t conscious of that.

In fact, until I began writing this email I had never even thought of it in these terms myself. I just knew that the quote from Mother Teresa called to me and that I needed to write. And like my experience of life, I didn’t know where this message to you would take us.

What I can tell you is that once I opened myself up to what “unconditional love” really was, it was the proverbial Pandora’s Box. My world flipped upside-down and has continued to be a whirlwind.

Ironically, now I give less “stuff” to people. Instead, I give myself. I give my presence. I give my prayers and well-wishes. When appropriate and asked for, I give my insight.

No longer do I give to avoid rejection; I give because giving feels right. I give because it is my nature. I give because it is God’s will.

Now to reveal myself even further…

I’m not going to claim that I live in the space of unconditional love all the time. That would be almost inhuman and anybody who claims they 100% are always loving unconditionally are either very very VERY far down the path of self realization… or they are very far down the path of denial.

Even my spiritual teachers admit that sometimes they don’t feel so loving. And that’s okay.

We’re not here to be perfect or live up to some ideal of what love “should” be; we’re here to love the best we can with what we have and who we are. For me, that used to be “gifts” and now that is my presence. We do “the work” to experience our True Nature more fully, and one aspect of our True Nature is unconditional love.

When it comes to really transforming my subconscious associations with love, one thing that has helped me considerably is the affirmation I had planned on sharing with you. It’s not a single sentence; it’s an entire passage. Since the Universe guided me in a different direction today, I’ve decided to share that affirmation with you on MONDAY MORNING.

The affirmation you’ll receive is one which I pause, stop whatever I’m doing, and I read it to myself every single day to myself. I’ve been doing this for a few years now and it has helped me transform the way I experience love… it has helped me love unconditionally more frequently.

So stay stuned for Monday’s email… because if love is on your radar, then this affirmation is one I think you’ll “fall in love with.” 🙂

Your Partner In Transformation,
Chris Cade

If you felt something please leave a comment.



About belief1st

business coach; referral sales trainer; Sports lover; Networker; Avid reader and Life Long Learner
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