Poor Receivers Don’t Get Rich

With thanks to T. Harv Eker http://www.harveker.com

What kind of receiver are you? If you’re reading this, chances are you consider yourself a giver of sorts. You might even beat yourself up a little bit for thinking you don’t give enough. Then again, there are those who think they’re givers but really aren’t.

The point is we tend to fo cus on giving as “goodness”; of feeling good or intending good. But what kind of receiver are you? Do you take compliments bashfully? Do you say, “Aw, it was really nothing”? Do you tell them to stop teasing you, or that you weren’t fishing for a compliment?

One of the big reasons most people don’t reach their full potential, financially or otherwise, is that they are very, very poor receivers. ‘You’re not worthy’ because of the way you look, or what you do, or how much money you have, or don’t have.

You’re worthy because the Great Spirit, or Universe, or God, or whatever you want to call a higher power, has put you on the earth at this time. There’s nothing else to think about! Since you’re as worthy as the next person, you’re as deserving to receive as anyone else. Anything else that your mind says around that is made up, non-supportive crappola!

And then there’s that phrase that a lot of people heard when they were young, and we still hear it: “It’s better to give than to receive.” Of course it is, isn’t it?

I’m sorry, but let’s just call that what it is: bad math! If both have to be there for the other to exist, how on earth could one be better than the other? How is that possible? Somebody enlighten me please!

By the way, the original intention of that ‘better to give’ statement actually translates more correctly into ‘It’s better to be in a position to give than in a position where you need to receive’.

In other words it’s better to be rich! Some people will read that and get that little twinge of guilt—How can I so selfishly justify wanting to be rich? Fine, I understand, I was there too, so let’s try this from another angle.

How does it feel to give, especially when that person didn’t ask you for anything yet you knew they were in need? Most people say it feels great, yes? It’s especially the grateful receivers that make us feel even better about our giving, yes?

But if you’re not willing to receive, you’re ripping off those people from the other side of the equation who want to give. And we’re proving that both giving and receiving are great. Two birds with one stone. If you’re in a position to give, that’s wealth—whether it’s money, time or kindness.

So here’s your practice. No more returning compliments for a specific time! If someone gives you a compliment, you’re not allowed to give them a compliment at that time because it dishonors them (of course use your better judgment, but you get the point!).  Returning a compliment because you think you have to robs them of the full joy of giving you the compliment. And it robs you of receiving.

The key is to recognize that whether you’re “worthy” or not is a feeling, not a fact. It’s a story that you made up and now you own. Disown that! Receive with the same joy that you give.

Now it’s your turn – we want to hear your thoughts and feelings. Do you think you’re a better giver or receiver? Do you have a hard time receiving compliments? How about giving them? Your feedback is very valuable so make sure to leave a comment and start a conversation with others in our community!

For your freedom,

Staying the Course

I was just looking at he stats for my blog. Amazing, I hadn’t posted anything for over 2 months, yet there were still people coming to the page.

When I started it nearly 3 years ago, I set myself the challenge to post twice a week. That lasted for a few weeks, then like a lot of other good intentions, it became once a week, then once a fortnight, once a month, then when I remembered and had the time to sit down and write.

Maybe it is easier tonight as it allows me to not write something else I have to finish.

How many of us, in our current society are making life too difficult for ourselves, by trying to cram too much in? Then we don’t get it all done, we proceed to beat ourselves up over it and then repeat the cycle.

As I shared with a seminar group yesterday, that is the definition of insanity, repeating the same behaviours and expecting a different result.

So what I have gleaned from the many books, CD’s, DVD’s and seminars is that simplifying your life allows many good things to enter your life.

• Less Stress
• More Clarity
• Finish More Stuff
• Less Pressure
• Less Feelings of Overwhelm
• Greater Success – whatever that means for you
• More time to stop and smell the roses
• Better Health
• and many more – (please comment with your thoughts)

The funny thing is that with less things to focus on, it will be easier to Stay the Course.

Ultimately, you will feel better about yourself.

Set yourself a 30 day challenge, to Identify the Important things in your life that have to stay and be done.

Everything else should go on a list of things I might get around to if I find the time and inspiration. Look at this list on a regular basis to see whether anything on the list needs to be elevated to the important list.

Again leave your comments for others to gain the benefit of and tell us how you are going.

Have a great week and thanks for reading.

You can also leave your comments on http://www.facebook.com/Belief.First

The Hidden Treasure in Procrastination

With thanks to Rebecca Fine from the Science of Getting Rich

“When you are in doubt, wait.”

  – Wallace Wattles, in The Science of Getting Rich

Now that title above may strike you as somewhat odd, especially
in January when it seems everyone is exhorting us to get busy
and make big changes.

But consider this: Sometimes when you find yourself putting off
particular actions, it’s because your inner self is signalling
you that you are simply not READY to take those actions yet.

And that’s because you haven’t gotten your habitual THINKING
in harmony with whatever it is you want to be, do, or have.

Mr. Wattles tells us that action taken from a place of fear or
doubt or from motivations that aren’t truly in our best
interests (such as acting simply because OTHER people want us to
do something that pleases THEM, for example) can’t move us
toward the manifestation of our desires.

Why? Because when we’re holding ANY kind of thoughts that cause
us to feel bad, it’s a sure sign that we’re moving AWAY from
the completion of our desires rather than toward them. In those
times our thoughts simply are not in harmony with our desires.
Instead they’re harmonizing with the absence or lack of those
things we desire, and we are then attracting more of the lack.

So forcing ourselves to take action when our
thoughts are focused negatively (away from
what we want to experience), doesn’t really
make much sense at all, does it?

Now this doesn’t mean not to jump right into action — even
intense, huge, MAJOR action — when you DO feel good. Mr.
Wattles also says this:

“Do not be afraid to make a sudden and
radical change if the opportunity is
presented and you feel after careful
consideration that it is the right
opportunity …”

And he completes that encouragement with this reminder:

” … but never take sudden or radical
action when you are in doubt as to the
wisdom of doing so.”

What it all boils down to, really, is simply paying attention to
your True Self, that inner guide that always lets you know
what’s really right for YOU, regardless of what anyone or
anything outside yourself may think. And the simplest way to
“listen” to that guide is simply to ask yourself:

How do I FEEL right now? How do I feel when I’m thinking THIS
thought?

My friend, if your thought is filling you with joy, enthusiasm,
love, or anything else that feels wonderful, then your thoughts
are harmonizing with your “clear mental image,” and you are in a
place to take powerful, “efficient” action.

And if your thought is filling you with dread, guilt, shame,
unhappiness, or anything else that feels BAD, well, what does
THAT tell you? ;-D

“Power is at your service, and to make each
act efficient you have only to put power into
it. Every action is either strong or weak,
and when every action is strong, you are
acting in the certain way which will make you
rich.”

Sometimes procrastination is just your True Self letting you know
– through your mind and body — that any action you take right
now would NOT be strong and efficient but quite the opposite.

When that’s the case, what’s called for is to use your greatest
power, the power of your mind, to shift to thoughts that please
and delight you to the point of INSPIRED action.

And then, my friend, you are TRULY powerful!

How to Overcome Capacity (Or Stay on Task)

By Craig Ballantyne

Back when I was 13 years old, working away for $3.10 per hour at the local garden center, one of my tasks was to take the empty flats (the plastic container in which you get your petunias) and stack them up in an old warehouse until they were needed again the next spring.

Of course, the old warehouse was already overflowing with flats, pots, boxes of Christmas decorations, soil, tools, and even tractors. It was already over capacity. Somehow, I still managed to cram in another stack of flats in a dark corner. But it was far from optimal.

This is also how we treat our minds and as a result our work and relationships suffer.

We cram our mental faculties full of information; appointments, deadlines, commitments, ideas, and even “bucket lists.” We end up giving halfhearted attention to a laundry list of activities instead of sustained, quality attention to fewer, more important objectives. Our careers, stress levels, relationships and health all suffer.

As I discovered back when I was 13, the real problem wasn’t trying to cram more stuff into an already disorganized space. Oh no, the real problem came later when you tried to find things and extract them efficiently.

Likewise, the real problems in our minds arise when it comes to giving focus and attention to problems that matter. When we have halfheartedly committed to a dozen people, activity, committees, events, fundraisers and groups; all of them suffer, particularly the projects that demand our greatest focus.

It’s time for a politically incorrect solution to dealing with the overcapacity in our lives.

Recently two friends and business colleagues emailed me to set up a phone call to explain their new businesses and how I could partner with them.

I thought about scheduling calls with each of them as both opportunities were interesting and each could be successful for us and beneficial for the people we would help. But each call would need to fit between my deadlines for ETR, Financial Independence Monthly, my fitness business, and the Underground Online seminar, without cutting into the time I have dedicated for my family or health and fitness routine. The call would also need to revolve around my travel schedule.

As I thought about finding space in my schedule and in my mind for the extra responsibilities that these new opportunities would bring, my head exploded.

Boom.

Maple syrup-glazed Canadian brains everywhere. Have mercy on my poor assistant who will need to scrape out my grey matter from between the keys on my laptop.

Okay, my head didn’t explode. But it FELT like it was going to explode. My anxiety and blood pressure rose just thinking about trying to shove another opportunity into my already full to the brim mental warehouse.

So I said, “No, thank you, I’m sorry.” I went on to explain why I just could not get involved in any additional projects right now. Here’s what I wrote.

“I apologize, but I don’t have the mental capacity to give this conversation and your opportunity my full attention and preparation. As a business owner, I’m sure you’ll understand how we are being pulled in many directions, so you know where I’m coming from. I appreciate your interest in sharing this with me, however at this time I am fully committed to other projects and people.”

It felt great to say this. It felt even better to know that the strained attention I have for my current list of projects would not be diluted any further. And while there’s still a lot of work to do on cutting out more unnecessary tasks from my day, saying “No” to random opportunities that come my way is a start to reducing mental clutter.

The politically incorrect truth is this: You have to stand up for yourself. Listen, you don’t have time to talk to everyone about every single one of their problems. You can’t fix the world. Of course, you should certainly decline the invitations politely, but at some point you have to say no.

As much as you want to help everyone, as much as you want to jump into every new project and opportunity that comes along, you must remember that you have a limit on your mental capacity for quality work, meeting deadlines, and dealing with people.

All of these decisions are to be made with a big picture in mind. You want an uncluttered brain so that it is able to deliver focused attention on major projects. Avoid having your attention diluted by multitasking or chasing every shiny new object that comes your way.

On an even bigger scale, remember that every time you make a decision to get involved in a new project it will take time away from other aspects of your life.

With each new opportunity, ask yourself this:

What am I willing to sacrifice from my current life in order to insert this new opportunity into my limited mental capacity?

Each time I am tempted to overindulge my desire to be involved in every exciting new opportunity that comes my way, I remind myself to review Kekich Credo #2 that states:

“Cherish time, your most valuable resource. You can never make up the time you lose. It’s the most important value for any productive happy individual and is the only limitation to all accomplishment. To waste time is to waste your life. The most important choices you’ll ever make are how you use your time.”

For all of us, no matter how much we want to take on everything that comes our way, eventually something has to give. We can either take control and choose what gets cut, or we can find out the hard way through experience as to what part of our lives ends up suffering.

Make the choice. Reduce capacity. Do fewer things well rather than a lot of things halfheartedly. Eliminate the demand on your already strained systems, and give more focus and attention to the priority projects in your life that will make the biggest difference.

[Ed. Note. Craig Ballantyne is the editor of Early to Rise and author of Financial Independence Monthly and Turbulence Training. He is also the co-creator of the Early to Rise $100,000 Transformation Contest that you are a part of today. Craig’s goal is to help one million people improve their lives by 2020, and he does this through his relevant and relatable content that he provides daily, weekly and monthly on his numerous sites. Subscribe to Early to Rise today so you don’t miss out on Craig’s motivational messages.]

Persuade vs. convince

Thanks to Seth Godin for this one.

An anonymous copyeditor working on my new book unilaterally changed each usage of “persuade” to “convince.”

I had to change them all back.

Marketers don’t convince. Engineers convince. Marketers persuade. Persuasion appeals to the emotions and to fear and to the imagination. Convincing requires a spreadsheet or some other rational device.

It’s much easier to persuade someone if they’re already convinced, if they already know the facts. But it’s impossible to change someone’s mind merely byconvincing them of your point.

If you’re spending a lot of your time trying to convince people, it’s no wonder it’s not working.

 

How are you tracking? Even better – Are You Tracking???

I was just thinking, it is July 24 and the year is 7/12 over, and the thought I had was how was I tracking?

The answer is I am getting better.

The thought I then had was that how were other people tracking… This led then to the thought, Are you actually tracking.

There is the old saying, that You can’t manage what you don’t measure! So if you are trying to achieve some goals, are you measuring your results; your activity; your behaviours; your attitude.

Basically, Are you on Track.

The funny thing is that most people start out the year with New Year’s resolutions, unfortunately most don’t make it till the end of January.

For those that make it past January, many don’t make it till the end of March. The biggest challenge is that we lose motivation, direction, focus.

I have almost finished Dry July – this is a fund raising activity for Cancer, based around the concept, that you don’t drink any alcohol for the month of July. My reason was to assist my weight loss goals. This is something that I have been “Trying” to do since Christmas when I added a few extra “Kegs” (kilograms) and to my dismay haven’t been able to displace.

The funny thing is that pre Christmas I used to measure a few key areas once a week, as well as tracking my weight daily. For most of 2011 this allowed me to maintain my weight at a steady level. The sad thing is that I crashed my hard drive pre Christmas and stopped tracking the body measurements, just kept weighing myself. 

The interesting thing is that even though I kept focused on my weight for the previous 6 months, no real change except for Up.

Since July however, I have re-introduced the body measurements and low and behold, lost 2.5cms around my waist and 3cm around my butt, Fairly good results. My weight has dropped marginally.

For all those fitness freaks they will tell you muscle weighs more than fat, so in a proper weight loss program initially you can lose size and not necessarily lose any weight as you lose fat and replace it with Muscle.

So as I have found out, even though I was tracking my results, I wasn’t tracking all the required results.

This can easily be translated to your business and other goals that you may be looking to achieve.

The line to remember is “you can’t manage what you don’t measure” and the other follow up is “what gets measured improves”.

Here’s to a wonderful rest of the calendar year or a great start to the financial year.

Track what you do if it is important to you.

Paul

Sport – Good or Bad

I am currently watching the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Commission) TV show about sport – #SportingNation.

it is a wonderful insight into what Sport means, the facts, why people do it, the effect it has on the population, cultural impacts, etc.

I was lucky enough to play Semi Professional sport for 13 years and get paid for what I love to do. I have a tainted view on what sport is about.

However, what I do know is that sport is a vital part of society. The Challenge is getting the balance right between the Commercialisation of sport and the participation that sport was originally developed around.

All sports were developed as recreational activities to relieve the person or group from the stresses of work or to practice skills required in work. Unfortunately over the years, it has become more about watching. TV, at the Ground, on Social Media, and in doing so  participation has dropped.

Kids (Or the iPhone Generation as the show just quoted) now days are more likely to drive everywhere, they are not allowed outside unsupervised, they are very good at computer activities (social media and games) and as a result their physical activities are greatly diminished.

Sport as they say is the great equaliser, unfortunately, that is only if people participate.

There is also the attitude now that you have to be good to participate. Why would you participate if you couldn’t win? Unfortunately when I was growing up it was more about playing rather than winning. So as a result less people are participating because they are not the BEST!

Now with the amount of money that is invested in the professional sports (and the players/competitors) there is an ever increasing push from parents when watching their kids to push them to be the best. As I have seen over the last 12 years watching / coaching / supervising my kids and the sports they have participated in – netball, nippers, Rugby League, Football, Touch, Cricket, Futsal – for many of the parents it is much more important than just competing. Their child needs to be the BEST. Their team needs to win – at all costs.

This is the part of sport that for me is hard to grasp, the parents, a lot of the coaches, the officials – it is not about participating any more, it is about WINNING and getting the advantage over the other team/club/participant.

This is so sad, there are many great things that come out of sport, there are great analogies that can then be translated into other areas of life – business, relationships, societal issues – however, the better parts of sport are slowly being eroded in the name of making money and winning.

What are your thoughts??